In June 2020, shortly after the murder of George Floyd, amidst a revitalization of the Black Lives Matter movement, I offered an online constellation on cultural conditioning. The group, which was all white, collectively chose to look at our white racism and white silence.
Oppressed Black People (of US and Australia) stood outside the circle, feeling heavy, very cold, like cold terror. I as the facilitator also felt very cold and shivery, for most of the constellation, even though my room was warm.White Silence stood in the center of the circle looking away from Oppressed Black People. What’s Mine To Do stood behind White Silence and faced toward Oppressed Black People expressing openness.Oppressed Black People said they still felt heavy and cold, although they did somewhat appreciate What’s Mine To Do.
Innocent Openness stood amongst the others looking out to open space, not connecting with any of them, saying, “I feel confused and stuck.” Inside it felt a willingness to not look good, to possibly be awkward, with the aim of learning and communicating different points of view.
Innocent Openness floated over next to Oppressed Black People, who weren’t comfortable with that and said to Innocent Openness, “You don’t belong near me. You and What’s Mine To Do need to go with White Silence – you all need to sort yourselves out. We feel good having What’s Hidden near us.”
As Innocent Openness moved away from Oppressed Black People, White Silence said, “I feel numb and distant. I need you you Innocent Openness.”
Innocent Openness replied, “I feel despair. I don’t have anything to offer you White Silence.”
What’s Hidden said it provided a buffer between Oppressed Black People and the other representatives, adding emphatically to White Silence, “you need to keep stating what’s happening with you, you need to keep being truthful.”
What’s Mine To Do offered support to White Silence and Innocent Openness as they continued to dialogue.
Gradually Innocent Openness felt attracted, curious and then aligned to What’s Mine To Do as a way forward. White Silence and Innocent Openness were able to see and support each other, both transforming, becoming morwhitee real and recognizing: “This is our problem as White people, we need to sort out with each other, first.”
What’s Hidden transformed into Responsive Buffer. Oppressed Black People said, “We can step back now. We feel relaxed and warm seeing you all are sorting yourselves out.” The sense in the field had shifted from cold and disconnected at the beginning to now warm, respectful and loving.